diff --git a/.eslintrc.js b/.eslintrc.js
index d1182628263..e173633708e 100644
--- a/.eslintrc.js
+++ b/.eslintrc.js
@@ -99,6 +99,7 @@ module.exports = defineConfig({
         args: 'after-used',
         destructuredArrayIgnorePattern: '^_',
         ignoreRestSiblings: true,
+        caughtErrors: 'none',
       },
     ],
     'valid-typeof': 'error',
@@ -316,7 +317,7 @@ module.exports = defineConfig({
       ],
 
       parserOptions: {
-        project: true,
+        projectService: true,
         tsconfigRootDir: __dirname,
       },
 
diff --git a/.github/renovate.json5 b/.github/renovate.json5
index 2cf7bec8eeb..fdec94dfcf4 100644
--- a/.github/renovate.json5
+++ b/.github/renovate.json5
@@ -95,8 +95,8 @@
     {
       // Group all eslint-related packages with `eslint` in the same PR
       matchManagers: ['npm'],
-      matchPackageNames: ['eslint'],
-      matchPackagePrefixes: ['eslint-', '@typescript-eslint/'],
+      matchPackageNames: ['eslint', 'typescript-eslint'],
+      matchPackagePrefixes: ['eslint-'],
       matchUpdateTypes: ['patch', 'minor'],
       groupName: 'eslint (non-major)',
     },
diff --git a/app/javascript/mastodon/locales/intl_provider.tsx b/app/javascript/mastodon/locales/intl_provider.tsx
index 68d4fcbd965..94372f95b0f 100644
--- a/app/javascript/mastodon/locales/intl_provider.tsx
+++ b/app/javascript/mastodon/locales/intl_provider.tsx
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ function onProviderError(error: unknown) {
     error &&
     typeof error === 'object' &&
     error instanceof Error &&
-    error.message.match('MISSING_DATA')
+    /MISSING_DATA/.exec(error.message)
   ) {
     console.warn(error.message);
   }
diff --git a/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/errors.ts b/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/errors.ts
index e77cec34ed9..3ad3844d5b7 100644
--- a/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/errors.ts
+++ b/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/errors.ts
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ function isActionWithmaybeAlertParams(
   return isAction(action);
 }
 
-// eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/ban-types -- we need to use `{}` here to ensure the dispatch types can be merged
+// eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/no-empty-object-type -- we need to use `{}` here to ensure the dispatch types can be merged
 export const errorsMiddleware: Middleware<{}, RootState> =
   ({ dispatch }) =>
   (next) =>
diff --git a/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/sounds.ts b/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/sounds.ts
index 91407b1ec0a..bb3a4aa4740 100644
--- a/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/sounds.ts
+++ b/app/javascript/mastodon/store/middlewares/sounds.ts
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@ const play = (audio: HTMLAudioElement) => {
 };
 
 export const soundsMiddleware = (): Middleware<
-  // eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/ban-types -- we need to use `{}` here to ensure the dispatch types can be merged
+  // eslint-disable-next-line @typescript-eslint/no-empty-object-type -- we need to use `{}` here to ensure the dispatch types can be merged
   {},
   RootState
 > => {
diff --git a/package.json b/package.json
index 18983b43e34..57c4a511330 100644
--- a/package.json
+++ b/package.json
@@ -170,8 +170,6 @@
     "@types/requestidlecallback": "^0.3.5",
     "@types/webpack": "^4.41.33",
     "@types/webpack-env": "^1.18.4",
-    "@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin": "^7.0.0",
-    "@typescript-eslint/parser": "^7.0.0",
     "babel-jest": "^29.5.0",
     "eslint": "^8.41.0",
     "eslint-define-config": "^2.0.0",
@@ -192,6 +190,7 @@
     "stylelint": "^16.0.2",
     "stylelint-config-standard-scss": "^13.0.0",
     "typescript": "^5.0.4",
+    "typescript-eslint": "^8.0.0",
     "webpack-dev-server": "^3.11.3"
   },
   "resolutions": {
diff --git a/yarn.lock b/yarn.lock
index f050110cd63..5580231645b 100644
--- a/yarn.lock
+++ b/yarn.lock
@@ -2810,8 +2810,6 @@ __metadata:
     "@types/requestidlecallback": "npm:^0.3.5"
     "@types/webpack": "npm:^4.41.33"
     "@types/webpack-env": "npm:^1.18.4"
-    "@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin": "npm:^7.0.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/parser": "npm:^7.0.0"
     arrow-key-navigation: "npm:^1.2.0"
     async-mutex: "npm:^0.5.0"
     autoprefixer: "npm:^10.4.14"
@@ -2907,6 +2905,7 @@ __metadata:
     tiny-queue: "npm:^0.2.1"
     twitter-text: "npm:3.1.0"
     typescript: "npm:^5.0.4"
+    typescript-eslint: "npm:^8.0.0"
     use-debounce: "npm:^10.0.0"
     webpack: "npm:^4.47.0"
     webpack-assets-manifest: "npm:^4.0.6"
@@ -4121,44 +4120,44 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin@npm:^7.0.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
     "@eslint-community/regexpp": "npm:^4.10.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/type-utils": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/utils": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/type-utils": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/utils": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:8.0.0"
     graphemer: "npm:^1.4.0"
     ignore: "npm:^5.3.1"
     natural-compare: "npm:^1.4.0"
     ts-api-utils: "npm:^1.3.0"
   peerDependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/parser": ^7.0.0
-    eslint: ^8.56.0
+    "@typescript-eslint/parser": ^8.0.0 || ^8.0.0-alpha.0
+    eslint: ^8.57.0 || ^9.0.0
   peerDependenciesMeta:
     typescript:
       optional: true
-  checksum: 10c0/654d589531ae45b8ca8f3969e785926b2544100a985968d86c828e2a1ff50331250e19c8b4af83a4ba17847a0047479662eb317e4ad94f6279cac03acd5cda5a
+  checksum: 10c0/e98304410039bbb7104fdd8ad7a70f2fb81430c117b66d609b44d10cc8937c8a936a4e5993b0b6df5361c00df43a146e89632a37f2407ce9bed3555733c71fc2
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/parser@npm:^7.0.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/parser@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/parser@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/parser@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:8.0.0"
     debug: "npm:^4.3.4"
   peerDependencies:
-    eslint: ^8.56.0
+    eslint: ^8.57.0 || ^9.0.0
   peerDependenciesMeta:
     typescript:
       optional: true
-  checksum: 10c0/0cf6922412517b4c005609b035119ddd2798e1b6e74e1bccd487aa53119d27067cfd89311f00b8e96b2b044a0fb7373418a16552be86079879158b260c397418
+  checksum: 10c0/7b462bc975c8e0c0d9fbc4955186d61b73aad9d5b9392e8fa68ad4b7c631582edc05176fcbfbebee603695421225e8c5f5ee28812fa47e3060fc7854b84497d5
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
@@ -4172,30 +4171,28 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/scope-manager@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/scope-manager@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:7.17.0"
-  checksum: 10c0/e1a693e19dc855fe6d04b46c6c205019bfc937eda5f8b255393f8267ebddd282165568336e37b04aab544b155a807784b9c4a92129dfc7c1eef5a9e9fe052685
+    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:8.0.0"
+  checksum: 10c0/d8397055f046be54302b603a59d358c74292f72af3d12ca1e652316a785400d3e2fd20d79e3e316e3278ff7f1c1ffb271f9f6a7a265b88041c5a4e8332f550a0
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/type-utils@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/type-utils@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/type-utils@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/type-utils@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/utils": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/utils": "npm:8.0.0"
     debug: "npm:^4.3.4"
     ts-api-utils: "npm:^1.3.0"
-  peerDependencies:
-    eslint: ^8.56.0
   peerDependenciesMeta:
     typescript:
       optional: true
-  checksum: 10c0/b415cf37c0922cded78735c5049cb5a5b0065e1c0ce4a81ca2a26422763ccacca8945efa45480f40530f2ec414a14d35a88a6798258aa889f7a9cf4ca4a240cd
+  checksum: 10c0/96ba2a58ceff420dac79a9c3c2bde15e0a56e8c47baf441a62886c9d8df3db6e9d886cd5c717c6f9a8cfceb545a511c7d452aa1537c2cd3b127bd47509e559ae
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
@@ -4206,10 +4203,10 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/types@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/types@npm:7.17.0"
-  checksum: 10c0/8f734294d432b37c534f17eb2befdfe43b76874d09118d6adf7e308e5a586e9e11b7021abe4f6692a6e6226de58a15b3cfe1300939556ce1c908d9af627b7400
+"@typescript-eslint/types@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/types@npm:8.0.0"
+  checksum: 10c0/c15efce96e4b80c2bef7ea4fa7f046609816ae8bc3a4e31d9d671e237520f6b96595e1330a891ec7042bc7b09fc16d265bad49fd878d5fb8be4b59b8a752e5b5
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
@@ -4232,12 +4229,12 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys": "npm:8.0.0"
     debug: "npm:^4.3.4"
     globby: "npm:^11.1.0"
     is-glob: "npm:^4.0.3"
@@ -4247,21 +4244,21 @@ __metadata:
   peerDependenciesMeta:
     typescript:
       optional: true
-  checksum: 10c0/10967823ce00c9f8cd4a8b56bed3524c098e38cc0e27aaa49ffd8fad4e671c00226bf0330ba858948750b88dc55527ebeb62c74be8a30bac18a106d6c033ab59
+  checksum: 10c0/a82f3eb2a66a4b2715d09f8f9547c1f0c27ea60c1d10d0777c8ce998b760dbb8ef14466fc2056220b8a236c2d2dc3ee99f482502f5c268bd40909b272bb47eb4
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/utils@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/utils@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/utils@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/utils@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
     "@eslint-community/eslint-utils": "npm:^4.4.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:7.17.0"
-    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/scope-manager": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/typescript-estree": "npm:8.0.0"
   peerDependencies:
-    eslint: ^8.56.0
-  checksum: 10c0/1f3e22820b3ab3e47809c45e576614ad4a965f5c8634856eca5c70981386b9351a77fb172ba32345e7c5667479cf9526c673699dd38dccd0616ad6db21704e72
+    eslint: ^8.57.0 || ^9.0.0
+  checksum: 10c0/ecba01996d1aa330c640c41c1212fed2328a47768348ab6886080e0e55bc3b2041939a635a7440d47db533f0c4b21e1eb8b58535a9eaebbbe2c035906e12ba06
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
@@ -4292,13 +4289,13 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
-"@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys@npm:7.17.0":
-  version: 7.17.0
-  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys@npm:7.17.0"
+"@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys@npm:8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "@typescript-eslint/visitor-keys@npm:8.0.0"
   dependencies:
-    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:7.17.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/types": "npm:8.0.0"
     eslint-visitor-keys: "npm:^3.4.3"
-  checksum: 10c0/fa6b339d51fc3710288bb2ffaa46d639551d77965cc42c36f96c4f43aed663ff12972e8a28652a280f6ce20b7a92dc2aea14b2b4049012799be2fc2d3cbb2c60
+  checksum: 10c0/8c59a2e971370c2b9a5727541c72d6b64fd0448ab03dd8b4274a26bddea5e1b4c560dd7856e1f48577cd333f7bbbed7a0f1849d39e2d1b48a748a3668c1a3723
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
@@ -17264,6 +17261,20 @@ __metadata:
   languageName: node
   linkType: hard
 
+"typescript-eslint@npm:^8.0.0":
+  version: 8.0.0
+  resolution: "typescript-eslint@npm:8.0.0"
+  dependencies:
+    "@typescript-eslint/eslint-plugin": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/parser": "npm:8.0.0"
+    "@typescript-eslint/utils": "npm:8.0.0"
+  peerDependenciesMeta:
+    typescript:
+      optional: true
+  checksum: 10c0/138ba4767e16bcb1bde3e6becbe92a548091d27c5584cf60d5c78d599085e06172791ab297447b9245f5387c9777b76683c2afd0e0234ed20d67a1de1192a7c9
+  languageName: node
+  linkType: hard
+
 "typescript@npm:5, typescript@npm:^5.0.4":
   version: 5.5.4
   resolution: "typescript@npm:5.5.4"